AXEL: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by Altlantica Stitch
Summary: All you need to know about caring for your new AXEL unit is contained in this easy-to-read manual!


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any of the characters mentioned here- except Vexel. He's mine.

I would also like to emphasize that I _do NOT_ own this format. It was first used by Theresa Green for her LOTR fics, and has been used by many other writers since. Please do not credit me for the format used here. Most of the FAQ is adapted from other fics like these I've seen.

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AXEL: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the owner of a brand-new AXEL unit. For best use, please carefully read the following instructions.

Basic Information

Name: Axel (AKA Akuseru, Flurry of Dancing Flames, Number VIII)

Date of Manufacture: Unknown

Place of Manufacture: Square Enix Inc.; Disney Division

Height: Fairly tall

Weight: Moderately light

Length: Classified. Ask a ROXAS unit

Your AXEL unit will come with the following accessories:

1 Standard Organization XIII cloak

2 Red chakrams

5 Bottles Extra-Hold Hair Gel

Opening your AXEL Unit:

All AXEL units are shipped in special fire-proof boxes to ensure maximum safety during transfer and opening. To safely unpack your AXEL unit, unhook one of the several locks on the box and stand a good distance away- 10 meters is the recommended- and shout as loudly as you can either of the following phrases:

"OH MY GOD, ROXAS IS TAKING HIS CLOTHES OFF!" or

"LARXENE, WHY ARE YOU TAKING OFF YOUR CLOAK?!"

Note: Shouting the second will cause the unit's OOC mode to activate for at least 48 hours. This is a glitch in the programming.

Programming:

Your AXEL unit is programmed to perform any of the following functions:

**Spy**: AXEL units are members of Organization XIII, and are very good at collecting information.

**Tracker**: With DUSK and ASSASSIN bots under his control, your AXEL unit can find nearly anyone you need, provided you can give him a picture or description of the person for him to relay to his minions. (Note: DUSK and ASSASSIN bots sold separately)

**Male Model**: Just look at that sexy body! Your AXEL unit should be more than happy to perform various modeling stunts for you.

**Bodyguard**: Your AXEL unit is very powerful, and has incredible control over fire. If your unit likes you enough, he should be happy to protect you.

Modes:

Your AXEL unit comes programmed with the following modes:

Cunning (Default)

Badass

Pissed Off

Depressed (Locked)

OOC (Locked)

The default Cunning mode is different from the Badass mode, no matter how similar they may seem. In Badass mode, your AXEL unit will not hesitate to kill those considered his allies.

In Pissed Off mode, the AXEL unit will not hesitate to burn anything he can take his anger out on. This mode is usually only activated after contact with a RENO unit or a DIZ unit.

The Depressed mode can only be unlocked after confronting a ROXAS unit in Twilight Town mode. In this mode, your AXEL unit will reminisce about the fun he had with the ROXAS unit, and will not eat or move around. This mode can only be deactivated by fighting a ROXAS unit not in Twilight Town mode.

The OOC mode can only be unlocked by a LARXENE unit that is not in Bitchy mode. In this mode, AXEL will figure he needs time away from his preferred ROXAS or DEMYX unit, and will proceed to have a fun night with the LARXENE unit.

Note: AXEL units can be stuck in OOC mode for over 48 hours with no reason. This is a glitch in the programming.

Relationships with Other units

**ROXAS**: AXEL and ROXAS units have very close relationships. ROXAS units will call it a friendship, but AXEL units don't attempt to hide their romantic relationship with ROXAS units.

**DEMYX**: Like the ROXAS unit, AXEL units have close relationships with DEMYX units, and will not try to cover up their romantic situation. DEMYX units are too naïve to understand anyway.

**SORA**: AXEL units compare SORA and ROXAS units frequently. Beware: Extended contact with a SORA unit may result in your AXEL unit's heroic death

**KAIRI**: This unit will get kidnapped by your AXEL unit. This is perfectly normal.

**CASTLE OBLIVION SUPER PACK**: AXEL units will sneakily bring about the deaths of all the Castle Oblivion units, directly or not.

**ORGANIZATION XIII SUPER PACK**: AXEL units betray these units in one way or another.

Cleaning:

Your AXEL unit is fully capable of cleaning itself. However, it is a good idea to step into the shower with your AXEL unit to give lessons on how to operate its unit.

Warning: AXEL units and its manufacturers are not responsible for any marital disputes caused by bathing an AXEL unit.

Feeding and Rest

Your AXEL unit is a Nobody and technically does not require food or rest, but does so in memory of life as a human. Make sure that your unit eats and rests normally.

Disposal:

What is wrong with you? If for some insane reason you tire of your AXEL unit, simply return your unit to the manufacturers or give it to a fangirl.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My AXEL unit won't shut up about my friend's ROXAS unit! How do I get him to stop?

A: ROXAS and AXEL units have very close relationships. Let them interact with each other- it might get your AXEL unit to calm down.

Q: My AXEL unit is stalking a teenage redheaded girl. Should I be worried?

A: No, this is perfectly normal. That's a KAIRI unit; Axel units frequently kidnap them to lure in SORA units. Leave him be- you couldn't talk him out of it anyway.

Q: I was expecting a cool, redheaded pyromaniac, but when my unit arrived, I got some blue-eyed jerk who just sits around and smokes and says 'yo' all the time. What happened?

A: It seems you were mistakenly sent a RENO unit- next time, specify you want an AXEL unit. Send the RENO unit back and an AXEL unit will be sent out right away.

Q: A bunch of fangirls are standing in my yard, and most of them have ORGANIZATION units!

A: Those are crack-yaoi fangirls- they want to see the other ORGANIZATION units paired with your AXEL unit. Simply shout that you see a DEMYX unit down the street and they will be gone in minutes.

Q: A weird guy with blond and red hair followed my AXEL unit home, and keeps calling my AXEL unit 'Dad'. Who is this guy?

A: That is a VEXEL unit- a special edition unit from our Fusion series- you're very lucky! If you don't want it, send the unit back to the manufacturers.

Q: Heh, you said "AXEL's unit".

A: That was not a question.

Troubleshooting

Problem: Your AXEL unit stopped working after spending time with a SORA unit.

Solution: Your AXEL unit is dead. Complete reprogramming is necessary.

Problem: You purchased a ROXAS unit to unlock your AXEL unit's modes, but the ROXAS unit refuses to interact with the AXEL unit.

Solution: A ROXAS unit will not interact with an AXEL unit while in Twilight Town mode.

Final Note

With proper guidance and care, your AXEL unit should live an indefinite amount of time (not even the manufacturers are sure of a Nobody's life span), or until he kills himself to protect a SORA unit. Thank you for purchasing this fine product.

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Hope you enjoyed it! I need some FAQ questions for some more. I'm going to be doing a Zexion and a Demyx next. Not sure when. As soon as possible.


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